Assorted people contributed to:

             COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF WORLD RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHIES


        Taoism                  Shit Happens

        Confucianism            Confucius say, "Shit Happens"

        Buddhism                If Shit Happens, it isn't really Shit

        Zen (Rinzai)            What is the sound of Shit Happening?

        Zen (Soto)              Shit just Happens

        Hinduism                This Shit Happened before

        Islam                   If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah

        Hare Krishna            Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama 
                                                              *ding ding*

        Agnosticism             Does Shit Happen?

        Atheism                 No shit!

        Catholicism             Shit Happens because you are BAD

        Methodism               Let Shit Happen to somebody else

        Calvinism               Shit Happens because you don't work hard enough

        Christian Science       Shit is all in your mind

        Existentialism          What is Shit anyway?

        Hedonism                There's nothing like a good Shit Happening

        Jehovah's Witness       Knock knock. Shit Happens!

        Judaism                 Why does Shit always Happen to us?

        Moonies                 Only happy shit really happens

        Mormon                  This shit is going to happen again

        Paganism                Shit is part of the Goddess, too

        Scientology             All this Happens to be Shit

        Seven Day Adventist     No shit on Saturdays

        Stoicism                This shit is good for me

        Zoroastrianism          Shit Happens half the time

        Rastafarianism          Let's smoke this shit

        New Age/New Thought     Shit Happens, and it Happens to smell good.

        Pentacostal             Praise the Shit!