Stavros Krysiak aka Anh Minh replied to a seeker who said:

>I was very constipated before I discovered Buddhist. It freed me
>from  that binding condition. Thanks to Buddhism I  now have
>enlightening shits.
 
You may want to try alt.zen, where you can get intellectual
replies.
 
I can tell you how Buddhism affected my bowels. Before when I was
bound to Western Religion and culture.  I spent much time trying
to shit.  I would turn red in the face trying to force it out.
Today thanks to Buddhism, today I merely shit.  I learned to
listen to my body and simply let the shit flow.  Once during a
enlightening shit I saw god.  This can be verified by the N.Y.C.
Police Department.  They took me to a very special place in the
Big Apple, where those who have seen God reside. It was called
Bellevue Hospital.  There I met many enlightened people, who have
also seen God.  Buddhism freed me from my job during my stay at
the ward.  When I was ready to leave the ward I told the doctor
that I did not see god.  I was immediately handed my clothes and
taken to the street.  I tricked them.  They didn't need me for
there was 10 others there, who have seen god.  My job now is to
teach people how they can be enlightened through excretion.Before
Buddhism I had to work for a living.  Today I make a fortune
selling the San Jose Vipassana Shit Mediation v.1.1 for $39.95.
Most Westerners become Buddhist because they seek enlightenment.
Those who seek it may never find it.  They may fall into the
judgement trap.
 
In reply to your question. Zen freed me from the controls of
society.  I practice the tantra, where ritual taboo breaking
freed my spirit.