Stavros Krysiak aka Anh Minh writes:

Perhaps I can interest you in the patented San Jose Vipassana Shit
Meditation (TM).  This process I carefully developed using Buddhist
Vipassana Mediation combined with my vast Scatological knowledge. I've
managed several Shit Plants (known to lay people as Wastewater Treatment
Plants.)  In those days I had to take shit from the whole city.  You might
say that I depended upon shit for my bread and butter.  The only other
profession that I know, which depends upon assholes for its business is the
field of proctology.
We were able to make gas from the shit of a common man and use it to power a
internal combustion engine, which propelled a generator.  This was shit
power at it finest.  At least, so thought the ignorant masses.  I felt that
shit was secret to the universe.  It is what those physicists were trying to
find in the atom and with their quarks and whatchamacallits.  Every living
being shits.  Atoms are alive. Atoms therefore must shit also.  In it is the
secret of life.  For a mere $39.95, I will E Mail you the first set of
instruction for the San Jose Vipassana Shit Meditation (TM).  You will learn
how to shit like a Buddha.  This is not one of those cults, where only the
master is enlightened and enlightenment appears to elude even his best
followers. With my shit mediation I guarantee your enlightenment or double
your money back.
Come shit with me and you will not only see God, your friend will call you
Buddha.  No shit folks this, is for real.
I'll throw in my last work, 101 Sphincter Exercises, at no extra charge.
This exercise is selling in New Age Book Stores for over $50. You will get
$89.95 worth of material for a mere $39.95.  With it you will unlock the
secret to enlightenment "Sphincter Control".  This is not like the control
masters put on their students.  My students are free spirits they control
their own sphincters.
I am in a very generous mood tonight.  I'll throw in my Book 1001 Shit
Jokes.  You will the most popular guy on the block.  You will telling your
short friends great jokes like "Beware of Short people, their assholes are
to close to their brain and it melts from the heat."  This book sells in New
Age Book Shops for $12.  That $101.95 worth of shit books for $39.95.
The problem with man kind is that no one has taught us how to shit. As
children we are taught wear to shit and wear not to shit. "Don't shit in
your pants!" is something we have all heard from mother as she potty trained
us. But the training stopped there. The furthest it went from there was
"Flush the toilet." No one as taught us how to shit. It is a lost art, which
I obtained through channeling.  One of the greatest shit heads of the 20
century, J. Edgar Hoover, speaks to me through channelling.
If that is not enough, this package will also contain  video with exercises
for the arms.  This video shows the masters at work.  See Diane Feinstein
sling shit. You can play it in slow motion and watch over and over. Soon you
will be a master of slinging shit.
You will not only be a Buddha you will learn how to capitalize on your
enlightenment, when you learn how to sling shit.  You will learn J. Edgar
Hoover's secret of success. He had shit on everyone.  In advanced courses
your will learn how to get shit on everyone.
I not only guarantee your enlightenment . I guarantee political success.
With my book of exercises you will be a perfect asshole.  Send Money now!