Stavros Krysiak, aka Anh Minh, posted:

             THE SAN JOSE VIPASSANA SHIT MEDITATION (TM)

When entering the bathroom, notice what is happening. Do you need
to shit? Are you going in there to read the paper or for privacy?
What are your feelings?  Just observe do not make judgments.
Notice how your clothes fit.  Does the belt feel tight?  Just
observe do not make judgments.
As you undo your belt notice how it feels, notice the feeling of
your pants falling down your legs.  As you sit feel the toilet
seat rubbing against you ass.  How does it feel?  Is it cold or
hot?  Does the seat cut you tush?  Can you see your gentiles or
does your belly cover them?  Just observe do not make judgments.
As you prepare to drop your load observe what is going on with
your sphincter.  Is it relaxing?  Do you have to push are or is
it a easy flow?  When you push notice what muscles you use to
push.  Just observe do not make judgments. BE WITH THE SHIT.
As it comes out how does it feel? Is it enlightening? Is it one
of those long enlightening  ones that feels like you have just
seen God or is it small pellets like rabbit shit?  Just observe
do not make judgments.  After you drop your load take a moment to
notice your thought. How do you feel?  When you go for the toilet
paper notice  why you went for it.  Just observe do not make
judgments. Can you feel a hemorrhoid?  Or if you are using a
bidet how does the water feel spraying on your sphincter?  Is it
cool or warm.  What are your thoughts?  Notice your thoughts
before you pick up your pants.  Take a few deep breaths. How does
it smell?  Just observe do not make judgments.  Feel the pants
rubbing against you body as you pick them up. Notice your
thoughts when you decide to pick up your pants. How does it feel?
How does the stomach feel as you tighten your belt?  Is it any
different. Just observe do not make judgments?  Notice your
thoughts as you leave the bathroom?  Just observe do not make
judgments.  Before flushing observe the shit. What does it look
like?  Smell it.  Notice your thoughts as you flush?  Watch the
turd spin around and around.  Notice the sounds it makes.
Just observe do not make judgments.


WARNING: This is a patented meditation.  Practicing it without paying
royalties to the owner of the patent can result in a law suit. If you don't
pay as you go, I will soon own all your shit.