November 02, 2002 Archives

Sat Nov 2 23:46:58 EST 2002

_Waking Life_

I just finished watching Waking Life by Richard Linklater. I think it's one of the most amazing movies i've ever seen. The movie expresses so many recurrent ideas i've had. And not just because it was filmed in Austin. Though while watching some of the behind the scenes stuff, i saw a bit of un-animated video, from the end of the movie of the guy floating up from the car in front of a house. At some deeply emotional level i recognize that the house he's in front of and that yard that he's standing in are Home. (Not the specific house, but the overall place.) I can't even really say what it is that i'm seeing that brings me there, but my emotions -- my heart -- just arrive there immediately, and my mind arrives after a second and says something like, "Oh yeah, this is Austin."

And it's more or less right then, that i recognize that Austin will always be home. Despite how distant or lost it has seemed over the last 7 years since i left.

So upon learning i was walking around with this yet-to-be-viewed, life-changing movie, Jason from Liquid Earth wondered what effect it would have. The first answer is that i now know where my home is; the only question is, when will i return? (And the next is for how long?) But the first answer feels like it will always remain true: Austin is Home. And oddly enough it seems to feel that way even if i imagine never living there again.

Everytime i drop someone off at the airport, i always look at all the exotic destinations and imagine just how easy it would be to get on an airplane and (hours later) arrive in a totally different, foreign place. Is that what i should do now? I have a valid passport, no job, few responsibilities... But what would i find when i arrived at such a strange place? Would anywhere else ever grow to feel like home? Perhaps another place would have a mountain landscape that resonated so deeply in my soul that i twirled around singing like Julie Andrews. Or perhaps it would have that mythical soulmate?

Or would it be just a bunch of people who speak a lot less English but are otherwise pretty much the same as those i see around me? I suppose life plays more-or-less the same everywhere, but it just looks, feels, smells tastes and sounds a little bit different from place to place.


Posted by johan | Permanent Link